Half a Decade in New York City
When people asked what I thought of living here in my first few months, my response was usually “Well, it’s a lot different than New Hampshire!” Honestly, I said this because I didn’t know what I thought of it. It was too soon to decide how I liked it. I lived in an area that wasn’t very neighborhoody. There weren’t many restaurants or bars in the area and the only shopping was Herald Square, which for those of you know aren’t familiar, it’s quite similar to Times Square in regards to the number of people. Also, if you converse with me on a more than regular basis, you might know that the last time I was in Times Square, I had a panic attack and blacked out due to the amount of people that were trying to see Obama drive by. Needless to say, it’s been 13 months and I still haven’t been back to that dreadful, electricity draining, crazy person and tourist filled square. Anyways, it was too hard at that point to form a true opinion on my new surroundings.
I would say it is hard to judge the city until you’ve lived in at least three different neighborhoods. My first home in Chelsea, previously mentioned, wasn’t really like living in New York City. No cute coffee shops nearby, lots of FIT girls, and lots and lots of gay men. Hallelujah! My second home in Murray Hill had an overwhelming amount of frat boys and frat-boy-loving girls. I guess the frats at FIT never seemed worthy of my time, so I never understood the allure. My third and current residence is on the Upper East Side. Finally, a winner! Quiet, great restaurants, plenty of bars, and home of my favorite coffee shop, Effy’s. Note: please try the chai latte, it’s phenom and definitely made with love. I am coming up on a year here and I’m the happiest that I have been since I moved here. Now I’m not saying the UES is for everyone, if you like not being able to sleep from loud neighbors having late night parties and dodging piles of vomit on Saturday and Sunday mornings, maybe you should try Murray Hill. Please don’t get me wrong, there are many wonderful things about Murray Hill. Likeeee…. Bagel Cafe on 30th & 3rd. And… Todaro’s on 2nd ave. Let’s just say I’ll be staying up here for a while.
This brings me to lesson one: Frat boys, bankers, and city men.
Ladies, please, I beg you, please don’t bring a guy home with you or go home with him on the first night you meet him. If you do this, he will lose any kind of respect for you, you will seem desperate, and there will no longer be a chase. He’ll lose interest, not call you, and then you wonder why you can’t find a boyfriend. Helllooo! Even if he is ‘a really nice guy’ and you think you could have a future with him at 3am, you can kiss that future goodbye as you or him begin a long walk of shame in the morning. Play a little hard to get, if he doesn’t chase you then he sure as hell doesn’t deserve you. Also, do not, and I repeat, do not ever chase him. My mom once gave me a little book titled He’s Just Not That Into You. Go buy it, it’ll save you a lot of time. The great thing about the city is that as a woman, you can be single in your late 20’s and it’s still socially acceptable. Whereas in many other parts of the country, if you’re not married with kids and a house by 25, you might as well go buy a few cats. Don’t be fooled by his opening line about working in finance. Cool, you and a billion other guys here. There’s 100 other things you should know about a guy before you decide he’s worthy of your time, and if he thinks the fact that he works in finance is important enough to open his spiel with then he’s probably already trying to make up for the smaller things in life.
Next lesson: People don’t hate you, they just don’t have time to waste on you.
It took me a very long time to realize this. Some people here aren’t always happy and have butterflies coming out of their butts like the rest of us. They just have a million other things to do than be nice to you, don’t be offended. Granted, some people are a bit more rude than others, so what you need to do is look those people right in the eyes and give them a big old smile. Maybe even say something really nice to them. Some people have this mindset that their job is so much more important than your life so they can treat others like garbage. I think it’s crucial to remember that we all have rent to pay, and maybe I work at a jewelry store on the weekends, but I have a pretty kick ass job during the week where I get to deal with photo shoots and amazing clothes. Everyone deserves respect and kindness, even the people that don’t have great jobs, like the snot lady at the post office. After I excitedly asked her if nail polish counted as a liquid in the package I was mailing my sister when she asked if there were any liquids, she said WELL THAT IS A LIQUID ISN’T IT. I really wanted to ask her why she was so mean, but instead I threw my $2.41 down on the counter and said thank you in the highest voice with the biggest smile possible. Take that angry lady.
Final lesson: Make Time.
It could be the kind of person that I am, or the fact that I am the same person that my mother is, but if there’s something that needs to get done, I can’t rest until it’s finished. People often ask me how I do it; work usually seven days a week, go to the gym just about everyday, cook, bake treats for holidays, do crafts, and always make my hair look so damn good. I’ve also been told I have too much time on my hands. I recently heard somewhere, you don’t HAVE time, you need to MAKE time. Make time to do the things you want to do. I love to make treats to bring to work because I know it makes other people happy. Also so I can always lick the bowl and act like it’s ok because the treats aren’t for me so it doesn’t really count, right?. I have found that I am actually quite crafty if I put my mind to it. I make schedules, I like a plan. If the plan changes, I have a back up plan. I plan my entire day out from the moment I wake up. From what I am going to wear, to things I need to accomplish at work, to dinner, to evening activities. If I hear a person say they don’t have time for something, I silently laugh in their face. You have time for everything, you just don’t make it. Get off your phone, turn off your tv, and think about something you really want to do. Whether it’s read a great book, paint your nails (which I do every other day, literally), organize your shoes, or make a delicious dinner. Make time for you, because at the end of the day, you are no one’s responsibility but your own and if you don’t make time for yourself, who else is going to?
That’s just about all the wisdom I have for you at the moment. I hope you’re enlightened. Peace and love.