The Lunch Bunch

BODY:  And a few conversations

Working in an office with 50 people is average. Working in an office with 50 people including 49 girls is average for me. I’m sure you can imagine what it’s like in our daily conference room lunches. Everyday conversations revolve around guys, why we’re single, TV shows, the Kardashians, food, and diets. (Also convincing me to start a blog, thanks girls.) I think these topics are pretty standard for any group of girls, right? However, it has made me realize how incredibly amazing each of us are. From Game of Thrones, to the Voice, to a Kim Kardashian loving Jenn, and quinoa, to liquid only, to fried chicken lunches. We all have different goals, confidences, insecurities, and life stories.

The topic that comes up every lunch sesh without fail is men. Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em. What’s going on with that guy you met on the subway, or your ex-boyfriend, or the guy you’ve been dating since high school. The guys we meet (like) on the infamous Tinder, or our friends set us up with. When are you going out next, what are you going to say back, how long do you wait before you text them. Life questions we will never know the right answer to. However, if you’re a guy reading this, invite us out tomorrow, double text us, and don’t make us wait. You’re welcome. If you’re a girl reading this and he’s not inviting you, texting you, or making you wait, go down to the book store and grab that book I previously mentioned. He. Is. Not. Into. You. You’re welcome. Also, if you’re a friend of a girl reading this, and her non-relationship has these symptoms, don’t encourage her or make excuses. Be the good friend to tell her she deserves more and shouldn’t waste her time. Then buy her Pinkberry to heal the burn you just gave her.

At any given time, there is at least one lose-10-pounds-in-a-week diet that is filling the refrigerator with weird juices and its own produce section of fruits and vegetables. What these girls don’t realize is that they are all beautiful and funny even with that nonexistent extra 5 pounds. You don’t need a diet to make a guy like you, and if you do then you need to reassess the kind of guys you’re dating. If you want to look and feel better, I will tell you this secret: eat healthy on the reg and visit that meathead ridden place we like to call the gym from time to time. As I sit here and compare pictures with my seat neighbor of how skinny we used to be, I come to realize we both look just about the same. Me in my homemade peacock costume almost three years ago, and her with some friends a few years ago. I am proud of how I look now because I am in shape and fit with muscle and I’m not bony like some of the models I see on the daily. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t at all enjoy being called thick, but I have learned to appreciate my ASSets. Pun intended.

A few tips. Drink lots and lots of water. And when you think you’ve drank enough, drink some more. Eat something green everyday. If there is anything in your refrigerator that will last more than a week, it shouldn’t be there. Stop smoking, it’s bad for you. Wake up 5 minutes earlier everyday, you’ll be amazed at the difference it can make. Do you really think that sleeping that extra 5 minutes is going to make a huge difference in your day? Brush and floss everyday. These teeth are the only ones you have, take care of them. Exercise, even if it’s doing 50 crunches before bed every night. Lastly, wake up with a smile and look in the mirror at yourself before you leave and remember you control the outcome of your day. It will be great as long as you make it great!

Go buy yourself some flowers. Put one in your bathroom, a few next to your bed, and the rest on your kitchen table. You deserve them, because you my friend, are incredible.


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